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Effectiveness of Managing Anger Programs
Traditional managing anger programs can be ineffective if they do not address the underlying cause of bad behaviour. In preparing my thesis at the end of my Master of Counselling Degree, I found that research shows that the effectiveness of most managing anger programs produce short-term gains, and when follow-up surveys of partners of participants were conducted 12-months later these gains had all but disappeared.
Is Anger About Power and Control?
Most programs teach that men abuse because of power and control issues, that it is part of our patriarchal culture that supports the domination and oppression of women. Abuser programs fail because they focus on negative attitudes, rather the core hurts that cause them. What is needed is to put men (and women) in touch with their compassion.
Traditional Abuser Programs
Another failure of traditional abuser programs is the shaming approach and their ignorance of how people change. Doing this can make core hurts worse and increase the likelihood that anger will escalate putting partners in greater danger. Confronting people with your superior values does not change them. People change by appealing to their deeper values. The core value approach of the Love Without Hurt Program appeals to participants deeper values which guide them to compassionate, abuse-free relationships.
Change Comes from Within
What you need to understand is that meaningful change comes from within you. You can tap into your great inner resources by re-integrating your deepest values into your sense of self. This integration of your deepest values will make you feel more powerful than you ever felt before, and make you feel more valuable, loving, and compassionate to yourself and loved ones.